Drought continues

"The driest rainy season since records began", is how one Mango Jam fan describes the current lack of performances by the wacky trio. Although not a qualified meteorologist, the unnamed 'Jam fan goes on to question whether the band's poor employment record since August is due to the El Nino effect. Despite the introduction of drummer Mark McTaggart to the band (which must henceforth be called a "wacky quartet"), there has been more chance of a category 5 hurricane than a gig on the horizon.

Hundreds - maybe thousands - of dismayed fans have been eagerly awaiting news of the first public appearance of the new improved 'Jam. Many turn up at old haunts, such as Sunshine Suites and Courtyard, on Wednesday nights in the vain hope of catching sight of their idols. Some others, uncertain whether the band is now using one of its 14 other names, are visiting a wider range of establishments. A Bodden Town fan drove to Welly's Cool Spot as he believed Golden Handshake was to give a benefit concert for the Mental Health Unit at the hospital. It turns out that the Mental Health Unit was giving one of its members a golden handshake at Welly's Cool Spot. Another aficionado travelled to the Mango Tree to see Gone Country, believing this to be another of the band's many names. He enjoyed the evening so much that he has transferred his allegiance to the gifted country music ensemble.

Watch this space for news of the maiden voyage of North Golden Mango Jam Sound Touch.